an unread post

Since I know this is not going to be read then I know that this is a rather safe place to post up whatever is going on through my head right now. And honestly I really don’t know what is going on in my head right now… all I know is that last week I was doing okay and then something snapped in it and I’ve been driven into the weird depression that is getting really annoying. Maybe there was something else that led up to it but the breaking point came when a co-worker “resigned” from our company and sort of left me holding this ERP rollout to deal with on my own. That coupled with someone else leaving after I went out of my way to bring her within the company… so, yeah. It’s been a hell of a week. I don’t know what will snap me out of it… I’m just going through the motions of faking being happy. Folks are asking what’s wrong and I’m lying to them. “Huh? Nothing… was just concentrating on something.”

As for co-worker #1, he’s not leaving now… but got some sort of negotiated deal. Meanwhile. I’ve been here for almost 10 years and I’ve not seen one fuckin’ change to my deal.

And co-worker #2 is posting up on elsewhere how awesome her new job is. Pretty much rubbing it in my face.

I’m done… turn off social media… ignore text messages… ignore phone calls… ignore emails.

house hunting… take 1

So for a while now I’ve been on the hunt for a house/home. Not necessarily a single-family dwelling… I’d be happy within a condo/townhome at this point just to get the fuck out of my apartment. And knowing that me finding a single-family unit that would be large enough to fit all of our stuff… and yet not so expensive that I can’t afford the monthly mortgage and whatnot.

So the hunt began… I was just looking at things not realizing the size that I was needing. It wasn’t until I saw a few places that I realized that we needed something about 1200 square feet and up. So our requirements were quickly adjusted to something that would fit our needs… and would probably fit them for at least 5 to 10 years. So let’s see what we have looked at in a glance shall we and every hiccup we’ve come across…

1) first house I looked at was actually in Santa Ana… I mapped it and it was close enough to the newly revitalized Downtown Santa Ana area. What I didn’t map out was the rest of the neighborhood. I rode to the open house that was being held on a Sunday afternoon… and let me state this right off. White guy in cycling gear stuck out like a sore thumb in the area. The next VERY noticeable thing about the property? I think my apartment was bigger than this place… and it’s only a 1-bedroom unit. This was a 2-bedroom house. Kitchen was way too small for me to even fit my fridge. So this was the home that made me realize that my minimum square footage would have to increase by quite a bit.

2) 2nd place we looked at was a condo down the street from us in Garden Grove. A 3-bedroom multi-bath unit right off of Chapman. Perfect location for Milady and me. But we saw issues rather quickly… the rooms were nice, but felt small. The main issue for me was the downstairs living area… the layout was so closed off and tight. A lot of wasted space where it should have been more open. And don’t get me started on the kitchen… electric ranges are near deal breakers for me. But at least it was in the 1200+ square feet range we were looking at. Did I mention that after about a week of seeing nothing in single-family homes that I broke down and redid the math to see if I’d be willing to live in a condo/townhouse instead? I tossed the idea around to Milady who said it was all up to me for the most part. This one was off the list rather quickly… on to the next place…

3) another condo… this time back in Anaheim. Located about 1.5 miles from Disneyland for Milady it wasn’t horrible. It was 1500 square feet… with 3 VERY large bedrooms. And separate balconies off of 2 of those bedrooms. Laundry hook-ups in the garage. A lot of tile downstairs… but carpeting starting at the stairs which would all be ripped out and replaced. This was a strong contender for me… not so much for Milady mainly because of one thing… the location was right on the edge of residential into industrial zones. The HOA fees were rather high for getting nothing as well.
About a week later I heard from my realtor about the property that knocked it completely off my list… the sale would be a land lease and my bank would back that loan.

4) let’s get condo-crazy!!! For about a week or two I saw several condos… including places that I am trying to figure out why I even looked at it. Oh yes… I know why. The pictures were misleading… and the amount of info given was either incorrect or stated in a way. Next up we had a condo that looked intriguing… was about a mile from the Orange Circle… pretty close to Main Place Mall… etc. Living/dining area was a split level… it was the carpet that was the first killer for me. Oh wait, it was actually the lack of guest parking. This place scared the crap out of me… and the kitchen was tiny again. I’m trying to figure out what these people were thinking when they built these condos. Didn’t people cook in the 70’s and 80’s? PASS!!!

5) another condo down in Garden Grove. 3-bedroom… 2-bathroom. The price point was well within my range which would have allowed me to do some minor renovation to the place before we moved in. The kitchen breakfast bar would get ripped out… cabinets moved and extended… and possibly dragging a gas line in to the kitchen. Other than that… I was happy. I liked what I saw… and talked it over with Milady. A short time later we were putting in an offer… and the waiting game was on…
A day later I looked up the listing to see it disappeared… so I was nervous. A bit later I got a call from my realtor… we lost out on the condo by a few thousand dollars. It is still in pending status almost 3 weeks later. If anything goes down it would probably be in another week or two. But I kept looking anyway…

6) condo up the street from Historic Garden Grove area… again, another perfect location for both Milady and me. My only issue was that is was a multi-level condo complex where there are a few floors between me and the ground. The good side to it was it was a top floor corner unit. It was only a 2-bedroom 2-bath… but I could deal with that given the square footage and the recent upgrades to the place.
What could possibly go wrong? I have no idea why I get my hopes up anymore… because just as I’m ready to pull the trigger something crops up. This time it was found out that the original building contractor owned 11 of the 71 units. No way I would be able to secure a loan… so no offer submitted.

This ends part 1… I’ll fill out more later…

It has been a while hasn’t it…

So I’m about to unleash… I don’t give a fuck anymore who I might hurt or who might see this. I am done walking on eggshells and it is time to just say “fuck it all”

To those that I work with. Your life is just that… your life. It does not revolve around pork products and it sure as hell does not have to be lead in fear. If you are worried that someone else is going to do or say something that would cause you trouble even if you have done nothing wrong, why bother spending the energy and time trying to justify yourself when we all know that the outcome is going to be the same? He/She who tells their story first will always be “right”. Fuck that shit… and fuck the pork product.


For those that seem to think that I’m an ass pretty much 24/7. Guess what? It’s not going to change. I have been the same person for so long… over the past few years I eased up on everyone because I was approached to be nicer. I’m done doing that. I don’t care if you like me or not… if you don’t like me then get the fuck out. Simple as that. I am sick and tired of hearing the drama and when I toss in my two cents then I’m an asshole. Whatever. If you don’t want to hear it then keep quiet. I have been more than generous over the past several years… I have never asked for anything in return. Now I am done. Fend for yourselves… and keep me out of it.


And for everyone else… what can I say? I am going to remain the same person until the day I die. You either accept me as is… or you walk away. Either way, I have lost nothing. I can gain something but nothing would ever be lost.

Expect Us…

There are people out there that are claiming to be behind the OWS movement and then are tripping over themselves to show support for the LEO’s… no offense to my FIL, but really getting a strong hatred for LEO’s whether they are “protecting & serving” at OWS locations or “protecting & serving” a mentally ill individual near a train station. And yes, this guy does deserve to get the harassed by the public. There are individuals who get harassed for their crimes, whether they are guilty or not (Casey Anthony anyone?) and yet we are supposed to be hands off with LEO’s? Fuck that noise… they are not immune to the public ridicule that the rest of us have to face on a daily basis and neither are our politicians.


Anonymous Message to Occupy Police – YouTube

thank goodness it’s a short week…

I really need some R&R. What typically might be a relaxing weekend for some folks ended up being something other than relaxing for me. Why, you ask? I am the organizer for the local barcraft scene. The Anaheim BarCraft to be more exact in the name of the event. This past weekend the owner of Clancy’s Clubhouse was kind enough give us Right Field in which I set-up a laptop to stream in a gaming competition that was taking place across the country in Providence, RI. And this wasn’t just any competition… this was the grand finals where the winner took home $50,000. Not bad for a gamer  ^_~

So what is this barcraft thing? What began as an idea at a sports bar in Seattle, WA earlier this year has now expanded to include some 180 different barcraft venues/communities around the world, about 150 of which held events over the past weekend. Estimates currently are that there were at least 10,000 folks who flocked to sports bars hosting these events. How I got into barcrafting was completely by accident in July when I got word that Noble Ale Works was going to hosting an event at the end of that month for MLG Anaheim. While it was great to watch, there was something not quite right with the venue… in particular that in the middle of the summer there is no a/c in the building since it is a brewery. Extremely hot… and the lack of circulation due to trying to keep the room as dark as possible made it kind of miserable to sit in there for too long. But a month later I was there again for MLG Raleigh and once again it was blazing hot outside which made the venue was too hot to deal with. So I got the hot idea of why not have one at some place that is nearby and that has a/c or heating if needed? So I approached the owner of Clancy’s Clubhouse with a proposal to host events at their venue. There was a little bit of resistance because the NFL season had just started and I was asking to take up half of their restaurant with a bunch of gamers, in the end she agreed to a trial event. If it proved to be good enough then I would be able to hold more events there. In the meantime, her a/v guy came in to do some work on the system that allowed my laptop to control several tv’s at once as well as pump in the audio commentary during the matches into that room.
Our first test run was set for the IPL 3 Finals which had a small turnout but was kind of expected given the short amount of time we had to actually pull something together. the next event a week or so later was only on Sunday and had a much better response from folks with about 35 folks in total showing up.

Damn it… I left the post and lost my train of thought. I might pick up on this later but then again I just might leave this as is… I have some gripes I want to air right about now…  ^_^

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